What forgiveness is not…
Forgiveness is not excusing the behaviour that hurt you.
It’s not saying that what happened was okay.
Forgiveness never implies that the other person shouldn’t be held responsible for what they did.
It doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong.
What forgiveness is…
Forgiveness is letting go of the feelings that keep you from being happy.
You might be tempted to think that you are controlling the situation because you’re choosing to hang onto those destructive feelings.
In reality, though, as long as you don’t forgive, you aren’t controlling anything.
That situation is controlling you.
Forgiveness has very real benefits.
People who forgive have less anxiety and stress, lower blood pressure, lower alcohol and substance abuse and improved sleep quality.
They tend to have healthier relationships and happier lives.
They more fully enjoy the present since they are released from their past.