Choice moments HJ style
Choice is always a really interesting concept with an intriguingly interesting dynamic. Or it can be … yes it certainly can be. And it doesn’t have to be.
However, the puzzlement sometimes for us is when we say yes to something what are we actually saying no to. When we say no to something what are we actually saying yes to.
How to deal with this dilemma? I thought it would be fun to share with you what I call my choice moments process.
These are moments when I check through to make sure that what I’m saying yes to is actually what I really want to say yes to. S
Here goes. Remember that this works for me so you would need to apply it to yourself. Adjust it to make it work for you.
A choice moment for me, is a statement about what to create in my life. Choice moments show what’s important to me. They are what drives every decision that I make in my best self.
It’s also about what would be the evidence happening to me to show I would have achieved whatever, X for example. What is the contribution that this makes?
Is it a positive contribution, or a charge neutral. If it isn’t, either of those, then I don’t do it. Why would I?
There are 2 parts: the statement which we’ll go into a moment is the principle. The question is the application to a particular choice. Maybe you could ask the question, how do I choose the way I hold X Y, Z, so that it can be fun for me?
Different choice moments play into two different types and levels of decision with short or long term impacts. What are the physical symbols that embody my choice moments? Often I let my choice moments be my muses, let them be my guides for a while, and see if they actually fit. If they sit right with me.
So, how did I create this process for me. Well, I made chart in which I had my choice moments, in the left hand column, and the application questions on the right.
My guiding principle is does this contribute to my bliss? Does it spark joy? A clear yes is essential or I don’t do it.
I took time to think and created 6 statements for my choice moments. Then I devised the questions that go with each statement.
First: I choose to do work or things that contribute to my bliss.
Q1: Does this contribute to my bliss? It’s an easy yes or no. If it’s no, don’t do it. If it’s yes, that’s fine. If not sure and leave it and let it settle for a while. Q2: Does it have enough exploration ,excellence , discovery & learning for me?
Second: I choose things that contribute to the evolution of my heart,
Q1: very simple application question, Does this contribute to the evolution of my heart.?The simple thing again remember is, yes it does, or no it doesn’t. If it’s no, don’t do it, why would you?
Third: I choose to have things that have integrity within my garden. I use garden as a metaphor for my life.
Q1: and it’s dead easy. Does this have integrity within my garden?
Fourth: I choose things that contribute to a smooth as silk. Why would I want to have it awkward and difficult and upsetting. Why would I bother? I certainly wouldn’t.
Q1: Does this contribute to as smooth as silk? Q2: Does it have elegance, grace, style , humility, ease & effortlessness?
Now, this is how I created my choice moments. You need to find out how to create yours. If you’d like some help on that, contact me and we can fix up a programme to work with you. Not a problem.
Fifth: To be chosen it needs to inspire me. Why would I do things that don’t inspire me?
Q1: Does it inspire me, either yes or no. If it’s no, don’t do it.
Sixth and final one: I choose things that expand me. That for me about growth, learning, development, challenge, stepping outside my comfort zone. It’s doing what I do to my clients so applying the ‘be halina’d’ effect to myself.
Q1: Does this expand me? Q2: Does it have enough exploration, discovery, learning, challenge and growth in it. And again, it’s always yes it does. And then do it. If it’s no, don’t do it. And if it can’t be a clear yes, don’t do it. If you have to make it fit. Don’t do it.
Very simple principles by which I now live my life. Not that I have in the past, maybe. But now, certainly. So good luck with creating your choice moments.
Oh, do contact me if you would like to work with me to create your choice moments.